Thursday, February 18, 2010 | Posted by Atika |
it takes two to whisper quietly.
All the months hoping that maybe the feelings I have for him is real finally comes to an end.No,I'm not being emotional at the moment.I just realized that there are no hope for me compared to that girl they've been talking about.so yeah :)
The times I wish that the rumors were never true,slaps me back in the face *ouch* when I see how close they are with my own eyes.True,they sure look very cute together :) Even if he said nothing about it nor does she,I can see their eyes often gazed at each other when it met.
and somehow,it sparkles.
Truthfully,I AM jealous.but there's nothing i can do about it.The least I can do is to hope? Oh well.They said they are meant for each other ; and deep down inside, I can't help it but to agree.
Upon seeing it,I back away since I don't think he know how do I feel about him in the first place.The close ones told me that I am naive when it comes to this matter.
Maybe I am.I've never been in a relationship before.17 years of lonesome when I'm alone.I'm getting used to it tho ;D Actually, it does feels good to have someone to occupy your mind.it's not wrong,right? I really look up to him in a way that I admire how he blend himself with the crowd ; lead his life.Everything is almost perfect for him,I feel.
Even if he and that girl were to be together in the future,ill be happy ;]
I don't hold grudge on anyone.I love everyone.Maybe the thing I had for him was just affection.Without any doubt,he's a very nice young bloke whom everyone love.It's not surprising that I to love him :) But then,ill always believe fate will work its karma soon.probably,God will give me a better one.who knows? I'm sure I need time to let him go and yes,I'm prepared for it.
I'll let him go and ill always be there for him ; existing transparently.
His presence sure strong enough to make me feel happy.Even when I think about him,I'm already smiling ;] The way I see it,the mind is like the ocean and the depressants and troubles are just puddles of water so why narrow down to unfavourable negativity? I'll put more positive charges and golden wisdom in myself in spite of encountering fear, detriment and suffering.Does it makes sense? Make sense to me :)
This chapter is an end.
For now,he IS just another friend of mine whom I sayang a lot :D
Who's the guy,you may ask?
*sealed my lips and throw the keys away* ;D
P/S : Told you I'm not emo :]
Labels: babling, thoughts