Sometimes when you think about forgiveness, it like releasing yourself from the chained of bondage you have been holding onto it. But then, forgiving those you never knew well was easier than forgiving your close friends & family. They were everything you have, so little things they tend to do meant alot to you. They know you in & out, the flaws you have, so when the words or actions they've done offended you. You tend to go down deep into the valley to sob & slam your pillows against the wall, scream into them so hard that if pillows have ears, they were deaf a million times. But after when you know that they did it unintentionally, yes of course you forgive them, but then you always miss out the forgetting part. Once bitter twice shy. The next time you held up your guards so high and chained up that door of yours so that no one will ever have a chance to get through it ever again. But then, sometimes you trust them so much that the door that was already been locked up so tight you open it again for them to go through in. The cracked walls in that rooms was plastered but different tones of colours can be observed, the walls in that room of yours looked so uneven. But as time past, they tend to hammer the walls which lead to even larger cracks that was so hard to be cement. Then again you locked up the door with higher securities, but you again was that stupid enough to let them go through it. And.. The vicious cycle repeats.
If you know me well, yes, I'm those type of person which was not wise enough to constantly doing the same thing when you get so hurt then you would still let the same person do that to you without being smart and precaution of the upcoming doings. You can call me naive because in the age of 18, I'm only starting to realized who actually treats you right, who loves me for what I am & those who loves me for who I am. Totally huge difference. It's life and people tend to use each other to win the race, it's a dog eats dog world. It needs time to slowly digest the whole theory of life when I'm slowly coming out of fairy tales. Well, although it's sad to actually see that for those who actually loves you do not out numbered the others. But then, I'm this determined & eager already to change my whole perspective.
This is a personal weblog. The opinions expressed here represent my own.
My thoughts and opinions change from time to time…I consider this a necessary consequence of having an open mind. This weblog is intended to provide a semi-permanent point in time snapshot and manifestation of the various memes running around my brain, and as such any thoughts and opinions expressed within out-of-date posts may not the same, nor even similar, to those I may hold today.