" Stop bashing people la tika "
One sentence that made me realized that sarcasms ain't the real solution. and yes, I was taken aback, and was reminded of the things I've said and done in the past that had influence me for who I am today. I was ashamed
. Ashamed of many things
. I was ashamed of my lack of sincerity in doing my responsibilities . Ashamed that I took everything lightly, and somehow, I felt unworthy of the attention given. Ashamed that my prayers , my salaah are nowhere near perfect. Ashamed of not performing the duty to Him, and am still capable of claiming my place next to Him. I am shameful. I have been judgmental to mostly everyone, this black hole inside myself is eating me up slowly. and now I am afraid that I will not be able to strengthen my Iman soon enough. Masya-Allah
"Ya Allah, I sure do not have the ability to compete with the pious in righteous deeds, so please let me compete with the sinners in seeking Your forgiveness. Amin" - @IslamSpeaks
I've met a few friends that claimed that I've changed ; someone that I often hope that I will never be
. I've become a pessimist
. I get intimidated easily with words and gestures nowadays. *sigh* I know people will eventually changed in a way they became more mature in their action and what not, but this isn't what I was hoping for. Dearest all, I am sorry that my sunshiney
smile are long gone, but I can assure you that I will be more than glad to assist you in anything, insya-Allah :)
Well, most of the promises made from 20 years ago till now are not fully fulfilled, and yet I am trying my level best to be nicest, calmest person I can be. It's hard tho, considering I am often tensed up by little things that are happening in my life right now. But I will try my level best :)
I am not religiously educated, but I am trying to improve myself by reading up books and online journal , seeking help from Ustaz and Ustazah at my college and so on. Hoping this little Atika can be a better Atika one day
. and I hope that from today onwards, I can control my anger management, even reducing my eff-up boiling meter on the web :) So far so good. Because I believe, by remembering what the things you do, you say, you write or you think now, will actually affect you in the HereAfter. So, reducing everything indeed. Hihi. and I also hope that anything I shared here will not be questioned by anyone, because I am actually very tired dealing with all sorts of unwanted attention. I know it is one's choice and freedom to write/share/say whatever he/she wants, (privacy) so please respect mine. ty :)
Since Ramadhan is approaching, I hope I can do better this year, insya-Allah :) nak buat santapan minda soon, nourishing my mind with Quran and its surah :) and walaupun kata-kata itu sebenarnya tidak mempunyai makna untuk menjelaskan perasaan, I really hope my points here have been delivered well. Hihi.
"Tak tinggal sembahyang tu bukan jaminan kita ini baik atau tidak. Yang penting iman di hati. Tak bertudung, takpe. Tapi lagi manis kalau bertudung. Tak cukup solat, cukupkan secepat mungkin. Berubah lah untuk diri sendiri dan juga kerana Allah SWT. Kerana apabila kita mengingati mati, dan saat itu hati merasa takut. Maka bersyukurlah kerana iman itu masih ada dan pintu taubat masih terbuka" -NHA
Hoping for the best for everyone . Amin :)