People said it's not hard to be yourself.
Lately ni I banyak berperang dengan situation yang sangatlah overrated.
Small matter, but being me, I always make a big deal out of it.
Macam entah pape.
And now mesti nak selit justification of why am I being myself dekat Instagram.
(Kau dah kenapa, Atika?)
But I guess that's how I roll kot?
Susah la sebab I ni memang jenis friendly.
Kadang-kadang takut too friendly sampai orang menyampah.
Lepas tu bab texting pulak.
Honestly I love it if you're attentive.
Like when I text you, you text me back?
Not leave me hanging halfway lol
Tapi I tau orang lain pun ada life sendiri,
So one night (semalam sebenarnya lol)
I've decided to take a wad amount of chill pill
and just chill.
Sebabnya kan, buat apa risau orang reply ke tak kan?
I am scared of getting hurt again.
Obviously I don't know where this is heading now, but I really hope it will last this time.
Penat la bila fikir.
I am starting to embrace the loneliness even more.
I don't want a one way relationship.
I want a two ways relationship.
Dulu I suka text semua orang,
But now I became so selective.
Ada masa I memang diam je. Takdek benda nak buat.
Certain people je i continue texting,
and I don't even text 'randomly' anymore.
There, I said it.
I am so afraid if I start to give my all,
then he didn't give me back the same,
Even worse, it all didn't matter.
Orang tua-tua cakap, 'bertepuk sebelah tangan'
So sekarang ni taktau la macam mana.
It's really hard to tell.
I don't even know how to woo people anymore.
Maybe on FB & Instagram I am all chummy and friendly,
Trust me that is just 30% of the real me.
Senang cite it is just my persona.
Dah la sekarang makin pelupa.
Lepas tu baru realize dekat FB ramai gila kawan yang i tak kenal LMAO
Must have been from the early days of FB kot.
Zaman approve je semua orang lol
Anyways, back to the point of being myself,
I guess now I can.
By not overexposing the things I do daily.
Themes of Instagram are food, friends and #tb.
In all honesty guys,
I am ready to move forward.
My life goal now is to kumpul duit bebanyak, happykan mak and abah, adik beradik then maybe think about myself.
Tak nak dah pening kepala fikir.
Tak nak fikir WHAT IF? everytime
If it's meant to be, then it's meant to be.
Simple as that.
And I would love someone that I can talk about everything.
I want someone that'll introduce me to new music, art, culture, ideas, books, etc. expand my mind and you win my heart.
Tu je. :)