I have come to a conclusion that I will probably end up being alone, and somehow I am okay with that. :) Mak and Nyah are preparing for Nyah's engagement and wedding next year, so I am just giving my opinions whether the things they choose are okay or not.
I'm kinda tired pulling strings, making extra efforts to get to know a person when I am not sure who am I in their eyes. Believe it or not, I am kinda insecure when it comes to relationship matters. I am afraid that whatever I give will never be good enough for them, or they couldn't accept the flaws that I have, or I am just simply afraid to get hurt again.
You could call this a rut, and we all fall into them, but it goes
much deeper than that: not just your actions, but also your attitudes
and your feelings become repetitive. You have formed the habit of being
yourself by becoming, in a sense, enslaved to your environment. Your
thinking has become equal to the conditions in your life, and thus you,
as the quantum observer, are creating a mind that only reaffirms those
circumstances into your specific reality. All you are doing is reacting
to your external, known, unchanging world.
In a very real way,
you have become an effect of circumstances outside of yourself. You have
allowed yourself to give up control of your destiny. Unlike Bill
Murray’s character in the movie Groundhog Day, you’re not even
fighting against the ceaseless monotony of what you are like and what
your life has become. Worse, you aren’t the victim of some mysterious
and unseen force that has placed you in this repetitive loop — you are
the creator of that loop.
The good news is that since you created this loop, you can choose to end it.
The quantum model of reality tells us that to change our lives, we must fundamentally change the ways we think,
act, and feel. We must change our state of being. Because how we think,
feel, and behave is, in essence, our personality, it is our personality that creates our personal reality. So to create a new personal reality, a new life, we must create a new personality; we must become someone else.
To change, then, is to think and act greater than our present circumstances, greater than our environment.
behaviors match our intentions, when our actions are equal to our
thoughts, when our minds and our bodies are working together, when our
words and our deeds are aligned ... there is an immense power behind any
individual. (excerpt from here)
So right now, what I'll do is to enjoy the good things that have been happening around me and pray that positivity will surrounds me and everyone else today, tomorrow and the incoming days. #directtranslation hahahahaha!
To end this post, here's a throwback photo of myself.
This is a personal weblog. The opinions expressed here represent my own.
My thoughts and opinions change from time to time…I consider this a necessary consequence of having an open mind. This weblog is intended to provide a semi-permanent point in time snapshot and manifestation of the various memes running around my brain, and as such any thoughts and opinions expressed within out-of-date posts may not the same, nor even similar, to those I may hold today.